What? I don't know, I don't comprehend what this is all about. I often find myself lost and confused, I don't know what to think, don't know what to feel, not happy nor depressed, like every drop of energy had already been drained. Lying in bed thinking about when my dues have to be paid. I.. am dead, as i don't feel my eyes as it opens. I can hear my throbbing heart filling the room of silence. As if i were a soul ready to be released from the captive nature of my flesh. The cadaver stinks witin me. It awakens me that this had long been overdued that a year of longing will not be soothed by the unknown being. It would have to be a being, a living flesh and blood that could blend with the senses of nature. It would have to be me.

Regina Spektor - Samson

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
The bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first , I loved you first
Beneath the stars came falling on our heads
But there just soft light, there just soft light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
He told me i was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
and kissed me till the morning light, the morning light
and he kissed me till the morning light

Samson came back to bed
not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

The Column...

Truth is that we are simply beings of this massively gigantic planet. We are simply a part of the "accident" that this world was ever created. We are no different than the beings we pertained as "wild"- such creatures live and die simply the same way as we do. The only thing that differs us from them is the society we live in. We live in a society with emotions. Success, love, pain, envy, greed, etc... are all products of this so called society of ours that made us human beings. Ironically this society also caused death amongst us. It caused pain in the hearts of those who lost in competitions, battles of life, love, and pride. It caused fear to those who suffered from the prejudices and stereotyping of the great society of humans (a term to differentiate us from the rest of the creatures in this planet) It caused hunger, greed, envy, etc. from the competitions we created. The competition that will serve as fuel to others, served as daggers and coffins for the rest. A simple life of each individual contributes to the column our society creates; that leaves the rest to suffering. This is the society we live in. Sadly, this is the same society that we created.

This is where I begin...

A glance from behind and now I proceed without second thoughts and hesitation, I proceed. This isn't just a battle, this is my battle, my battle for survival. A long long way, I assume this might take but I reassured myself that this is the battle I chose. One step at a time with every breath, I headed to the road that'll take me to the last stop.